straight boys don’t shut their mouths because their lips would be touching and that’s gay


I was sitting on my friends bed with her when she came out as gay

and I was looking through a Chinese food pamphlet

so I put it down, looked at her and said “I was going to suggest ordering food but I see now you’d prefer to eat out”

and I don’t think she’s ever really forgave me  


When pixar does the thing that makes you question if you are actually watching a children’s movie.

  • How to break up with someone: Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now.


i like girls who look like they kill people for a living


So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.
J.R.R. TolkienThe Hobbit  (via etrezomp-ni—kelted)


accidentally stuttering while saying your snarky comeback



*16 year old girl voice* um shut the fuck up thanks


I cant believe lady gaga died for our sins and resurrected thousands of years ago today. what an inspiration